Before and during the grind of the season
First and foremost, as a parent, you should want your child in youth sports for the right reasons. Playing PONY Baseball and Softball allows children to reap the benefits of getting physical activity, learning accountability and other skills, such as winning the "right" way, coping with failure and learning how to get along with others. Odds are your child is not going to receive a full scholarship in Pinto and not every kid can be the next Mike Trout, so don't take every practice and game as life or death situations.
Additionally, treating your child's youth sports career as an investment is a slippery slope. It is understood that participation in youth sports cost time, money and energy, but sometimes, a player's intrinsic rewards outweigh the extrinsic and that's difficult to measure.
If you push your child too hard in a certain direction, you'll eventually see backlash, so if your child just is adamant about not playing, then don't sign him or her up. You'll know when your child is "just saying" he or she doesn't want to play or go to practice and when he or she really doesn't want to. Once they've made the commitment, it often times takes you to be an authoritative parent to nurture your child to be accountable for the sake of the team and stick it out.
Here's Dugout Captain's own Dan Keller talking about players developing a love for the game when their parents motivate them to keep striving.
Also, it is encouraged for your child to play multiple sports, in fact, it is highly recommended. PCA recommends that children do not specialize in one sport until at least 12, and it is better to be a multi-sport athlete until at least 15. Maybe your child can try an individual sport like tennis, swimming or golf.
Practice
Author Daniel Pink makes the argument that parents shouldn't attend practices at all, as this is an easier time than a game to let go. While that may seem extreme to some, don't bother your son or daughter's coach during practice. Save the conversation for the end of practice or speak with the Team Ambassador.
During the game
Before your son or daughter's PONY game, keep it simple, a short "play hard," "have fun" and/or "I love you" will do the trick. Once the umpire says "play ball," if you're not the coach, don't coach your child, as this can lead to confusion between the messages sent by the coach and you.
It's quite alright to cheer, but don't be obnoxious about it. Cheering against the other team is a huge no-no as well. Remember, they're just kids. How would you like it if someone at work berated you the whole time you were trying to perform at your job? Also, a reputation of arrogance will follow you and eventually will come to bit you, if you're known for bragging all the time.
Your child will never say thank you for screaming at the umpires, or his/her coaches, or other parents the entire game, so if you're there just to stir the pot, it's probably best to wait in the car. Likewise, there is a fine line between mentoring your child when he or she is disrespectful in the field, shows poor sportsmanship or is lacking in effort and yelling at him or her in front of everyone. Plainly put, it's awkward and doesn't accomplish much.
There will eventually be a moment, or maybe multiple moments, when a teammate on your child's team makes a mistake. Sometimes this error may even cost the team a victory. It is okay. There will be a next game. It's going to hurt in the moment, but is it worth destroying a relationship with that player and his/her family, if you make a huge ordeal about it? This is a great teaching moment for everyone involved with the team to pick that kid up.
After the game
If you are absolutely distraught after a game -- you've walked away angrily, your blood pressure has skyrocketed, you're sweating and you're generally just ticked -- that's unhealthy behavior. If you're finding yourself getting mad and you want to take it out on your child, stop. He or she probably already feels bad enough and will feel isolated and lose his or her self-confidence if you're not in his or her corner.
PCA notes that the number-one dislike of youth sports from a player's perspective is the car ride home. Once again, if you use that opportunity to correct, condemn or criticize, you're already making a bad situation worse, because nine times out of 10, the coach has already harped on it. Please use some self-control. Here's a video from PONY's Practice Planning Partner Dugout Captain regarding the car ride home:
When your child is dealing with a loss or poor performance, remember to stay positive. Unless they ask for your opinion or they want your advice, don't jump right in and beat a dead horse. Listen intently. Conversely, bring your child back down to earth if he or she isn't staying humble. Let this be a reminder that it takes hard work and dedication for a team to continue to win. Like a roller coaster, you and your child shouldn't ever get too high or too low.
Claiming cheating also sets a poor example because life is going to have some peaks and valleys. Always thinking your opponent cheated when you lose shows poor sportsmanship, and you won't be very well-liked. Also, throwing the coach under the bus doesn't teach showing respect. Your child eventually will have to report to a superior who he or she doesn't like, whether that's at school or work, so if he or she starts undermining authority at an early age in something recreational, no doubt, it will carry over into a professional setting later in life.
It's hard. It's so hard because we're human and emotions can get the best of us. But using this checklist from PCA will be a great tool for you to use, as a sports parent.